National Sober Day Story: Addiction Doesn’t Discriminate

National Sober Day lies close in our hearts because of one of our most wonderful employees: Marie. Marie is now 5 years sober. That’s something worth celebrating! This holiday provides a model for future generations as well. By demonstrating how to enjoy life alcohol-free.

Marie shares her story below:

Addiction doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care about your socioeconomic status, your will power, your career, your ethnicity or your age. It will sneak up on you, and it will be your best friend and your worst enemy.

My love affair with alcohol started when I was 13 years old.

I had two loving and supportive parents, both with professional careers. My childhood wasn’t what you’d call perfect, but it also wasn’t one you’d associate with an alcoholic in the making.

I fell in love at 22 and married at 24. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that God brought me this man. I had no idea how much I’d rely on him in the coming years; I knew only that I loved him and didn’t want to spend another minute without him.

Six months pregnant at age 27, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. Eleven days before the birth of our son, she passed away. I was caught in an unimaginable spiral of joy and grief, one no bigger than the other. Alcohol was - like it is for many - my coping mechanism.

At 28, I entered the first of several treatment programs. I was in and out of rehab for the next few years. I always stayed sober for a while after, but it didn’t take long before I was back to the bottle. Towards the end, I was drinking day and night, stopping only to sleep. I’ll never forget standing in the shower, begging God to end my suffering. I wanted to die. I didn’t see a way out. I just couldn’t stay sober, and I’d lost all hope. I knew I was a burden to everyone around me.

The thing is, if you looked at me from the outside, I had no “reason” to drink. I had a beautiful son, I was married to the love of my life, and we had a beautiful life. We had a home and a car and enough money to pay our bills. So why didn’t I just quit? Believe me, I wanted to. More than anything, I didn’t want to drink anymore, but I didn’t know how to stop, and I didn’t have any fight left.

I turned 34 in the ICU, unable to breathe or eat without the help of tubes and medication. My body didn’t know how to function without alcohol, so it shut down. My husband watched me code twice. He took care of our five-year-old and ran the household, all the while wondering if his wife would ever come back.

By the grace of God, I’m still here. I’m five years sober now, and grateful for every second. The first two years of sobriety were a fog. I spent every waking moment just trying not to drink. With patience, tenacity and a hell of a lot of support, I’m here to tell you that not only is sobriety possible, it’s wonderful.

There will come a day when you’ll realize that you can’t remember when you had your last craving. You’ll stop white-knuckling every minute of every day. You’ll stop hurting so much. You’ll discover you again. And you’ll feel joy. So much joy. It won’t be easy getting there, but you can do it.

I’ll never stop fighting this disease. You can’t turn the pickle back into a cucumber, but you can enjoy the heck out of the pickle. I used to think I wouldn’t have any fun if I stopped drinking. Little did I know, the fun was just beginning."